It was uncomfortable at first. I sat down in a room full of people i didn't know who were all talking to each other about things i didn't know. I stayed quiet as a lively discussion blossomed about whether and how women ought to gain a louder voice online. Later i joined a table talking about feminism and politics and introduced myself to the young woman next to me. She turned to me and said with evident disdain, "Hi, male." I mentally raised an eyebrow. "I do have a name," i replied, and went on feeling a little less welcome.
It has never seemed to me that women were automatically less capable of anything in particular, only that there have been frustratingly few of them in many of the circles in which i move. So when i hear about women being patronized, put down, told to shut up, afraid to speak their mind because of their sex, it causes me some cognitive dissonance. And i heard about these things a lot that day. There's a lot of justified anger out there, and sometimes i fear that some of it will be directed at me.
I'm constantly impressed by women. To pick a few at this conference, anyone who can muster the strength and spirit to be funny and prolific and entertaining and provocative and honest 24/7 while coping with the rest of life is damn impressive. I've had to deal with a lot of dissatisfaction and self-doubt lately, and one thing these people are teaching me is the value of cultivating a positive and lighthearted outlook. The only regret i have is that i wasn't quite brave enough to meet any of these five writers in person (and there are many more). I hope to correct that someday.
It was nice to run into people i knew — Liz, Adina,
This description is right on. Regardless of whether it can be attributed to being a "female thing", there was a lot of listening at this conference. I really liked the way the sessions were run — passing microphones around the audience for most of the time, instead of filling slots with presentations and only having a few minutes at the end to squeeze in questions. It meant less lecturing and more sharing of opinions and experiences.
I listened. I learned. I met people. It was worth it.